Integrating.

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It’s been a strange Christmas so far. And its not here yet. My Dearest OH has said over the past few months that I’ve changed, but that I’m trying to fight against it.  My rather flippant retort to that was (internally anyway) of course I’ve changed, I’m now a mum to two… But something has happened I notice with the arrival of the Littlest Little One.  I find that although I may have tinges here and there of PNA (Post Natal Anxiety) at times, on a baseline with the arrival of the littlest one something else was returned to me. Continue Reading →

Move it Move it.

SuckitUpButtercup

It was an uphill struggle.  Partly because I knew what was coming. The disappointment in myself from last week. The disappointment I heard in other people when I told them I ducked out after lap 1.  The way it just hurt so much…  The nonsense going through my head. Last week I was Little Miss Prepared.  Everything was accounted for, ready to go, all eventualities prepared for.  Clothes out ready. For me and the kids.  Breakfast out ready to go… I saw it all play out in my head. “Make it so…”.  And so it was. This time could not Continue Reading →

Running down Demons

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A friend of mine introduced me to the existence of this thing called “Parkrun”.  Every Saturday morning, rain, or shine, people get up and out, put their shoes on and go run run/walk, walk, 5k at a local park / nature area. I’d been inspired to start running, mainly doing the C25K (Couch to 5k) programme initially, but I thought a little run/walk followed by more of a walk wouldn’t harm. In my previous post (Ch-ch-ch-changes) I mentioned that the first event didn’t quite go to plan.  The one I went to was in two laps to make up the 5k Continue Reading →

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for about 6.5 days.  Procrastination. Isn’t it weird how these two words have the same ending….DesTINATION.  ProcrasTINATION. I could go on. A rather good friend of mine did something amazing in September.  She did the Great North Run for the first time.  She went from couch to 13.1miles in about 8ish months. Granted she did have one of the most horrible starts one could have to a year, and this is what she did with it. I’m really proud of her. I was inspired.  I watched the event on the telly box just Continue Reading →

Reclaiming Power.

To be honest I’m really not sure where this post is going to go.  I’ve been dancing around the edges of writing a post about power and how words, thoughts and intent relates to all that.  Instead I find myself sidetracked by another post I read a couple of days ago. It’s one of those annoying posts that left me in tears as I read it and felt a kinship with the lady that wrote it. It was also annoying as I realised there was something I needed to address after reading.  I didn’t particularly want to take action as there is Continue Reading →

The slippery slope of parenthood

My darling daughter is 2 years and half a month old today. Or thereabouts. And tomorrow she starts nursery for 2 mornings and 1 afternoon a week.  This is not something I am pleased about in all honesty. Both my Hubby and myself had rather dodgy experiences at school.  Did they make us the people we are today?  Well, we are here having gone through all that, but I for one was definitely hindered by those experiences, and sometimes they still catch me out. Even before we had thought about getting pregnant, we had both said that if we ever had kids they Continue Reading →

I saw a mouse… where??

If you know me IRL, then you know I have a fondness for all creatures small and fluffy.  Rats, Mice, Hamsters….  but I have to draw the line when one of those things (OK – Mice) move themselves into our house and infiltrate the dark corners. I hate doing it, but I do have poison down in places inaccessible to us, but accessible to the mice. Behind the dishwasher, at the bottom of the Gas meter cupboard and such places. On Tuesday night, I was enjoying a rare moment of being cuddled up with my OH on the sofa, and Continue Reading →

Don’t you just love it when….

…. Something snaps inside and all the things one’s parents have said to you over the years kinda start to make sense?   Cryptic I know.  I’ll try to explain.  Since becoming a “Mummy” I’ve been plagued with many thoughts of how my talk to my Daughter will (or will not) affect her as she grows up. One thing my Mum has always said to me (amongst many, but this one is pertinent for right now) is “You’ve always been the same – once you prove you can do something you lose interest and stop doing it”.  (She is right…) I’ve Continue Reading →

A writer’s dilemma.

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Or maybe the title of this post should be “The dilemma a writer has, who has a slight case of OCD”. Wow.  I’ve sat and stared at that first line for nearly an hour.  It’s been so long since I’ve written that I feel hesitant to start.  The floodgates will open, and I’m not sure I wish to moderate all that will come out. Just another lesson in the life lesson that I am currently learning and practising a lot. Letting Go. I won’t join in with the thousands and do yet another parody of the recent Disney song, but Continue Reading →

Layers

Layers of an onion

A thought occurred to me last night.  It’s one of those things that does happen sometimes, and flipping annoying when you realise its an “Important Thought”. We often refer to ourselves as having layers like onions.  And that peeling away layers reveals the real “us” beneath.  And the implication is – that peeling away layers is a good thing.  (Which it is).  And thereby the inverse is also true, that putting layers on is a bad thing? No. In a word. Last night I was aware of a newly formed layer that has grown for me.  It’s about 7 and Continue Reading →