A writer’s dilemma.

Or maybe the title of this post should be “The dilemma a writer has, who has a slight case of OCD”.

Wow.  I’ve sat and stared at that first line for nearly an hour.  It’s been so long since I’ve written that I feel hesitant to start.  The floodgates will open, and I’m not sure I wish to moderate all that will come out.

Just another lesson in the life lesson that I am currently learning and practising a lot.

Letting Go.

I won’t join in with the thousands and do yet another parody of the recent Disney song, but Letting go is definitely where its at for me.

I used to agonise over every word chosen, not for the overall read of the text, the atmosphere, pace or the perception, but because I wanted you, my dear reader to completely understand in totality what I meant as I wrote.

Quite a few years ago I trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis, and Coaching.  It was one heck of a mind blowing experience and one I am extremely grateful for the chance of learning.  It was within this set of knowledge that I learnt many things, but that actually, complete understanding through written (or spoken) communication is a bit of a fallacy.

Whilst there are general definitions for each and every word, what each word means to each individual will be ever so slightly different, shaped by each persons life experiences.

“Work”, “School”, “Family” are words that can show this perhaps a little easier.  No cheating now – write down the first three things that come to mind when you hear each of the above words.

Once you’ve done that, then feel free to scroll down to the end and see what my first three words were for each one.  I’d hazard a guess that they’re not exactly the same.  Maybe they are, but I’ll be surprised if they are all completely the same, and in the exact same order.

I realise as I’m going through a huge slot of new lessons all to do with “letting go” that this was one of the first big lessons – and I’d done it (let go) without realising until a few months ago.

What did I have to let go of?  I let go of the notion that through extremely careful word selection I could convey to you exactly what my life experiences had taught me, so that you could understand the text I was writing completely and totally from my perspective.

Cute huh?  #sigh.  More like juvenile egotistical thinking.

What actually happened was that as I let go and chose the words (normal everyday words with intent and care, that something magical happened.  My writings were understood, but somewhere in the ether, the mix of words and intent not only enabled my perspective to be understood by those with the ability to see it, but also enabled me to perceive the perspective of those who read it by the meaning they took from it.

It’s been so long since I’ve written properly my confidence feels very delicate and vulnerable.  All I have to do though to get myself into gear and get on with it, is to remember all the comments I’ve had from people who have read my scribbles and writings who have said that they’ve been helped by them.  Maybe pain eased somewhere, or a different way of looking at things. I never thought my scribbles would help anyone other than myself by expressing emotions, playing with words. But they have, and for that I am grateful and humbled.

There’s an NLP guideline relating to communication – “The meaning of the communication is the response you get”. Therefore comments will be open on this post for definite and lets see what the meaning really is!


Zoe’s Definition of words…

Work – Drudgery; Manipulation; Mundane  (Who noticed that salary, or financial stability appears nowhere in that list?!  

School – Boredom, Bullying, Fear (No wonder I enjoyed it *SO MUCH*!)

Family – Loyalty, Love, Respect.

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