What if…

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… all these intrusive thoughts, dark thoughts are there to scare me away from feeling? OH suggested I think about the process – why things happen.  Why ones brain fixates on something terrible that one happens to have accidentally read and then can’t un-read or be unaware of. You’ve just got an overactive imagination. I’ve been told that a lot.  Right from being a child.  These feelings of anxiousness however new they may feel (2 years ish….), are definitely not new. The realisation that I have quite successfully disconnected from my Self… and then the thought then follows of I Continue Reading →

What happens next?

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This post – be warned, embarks on a topic that is usually not best discussed in general polite conversation.  Rules of the dinner table, no politics, no religion – that kind of thing. However, Something came to mind today and I’ve got that nudge to write it out.  Religion.  That little conundrum again. I’m kinda dreading the question of “religion” when it comes up from my eldest little one.  I’ll tackle the big nuts and bolts of it another day, but this specifically relates to “what happens when we die…” I happened upon a post by a page I like.  Continue Reading →

Saying Goodbye

I’m not really sure this title is right for this writing yet. But at the moment it feels that’s as close as I’ll get. Once upon a time, there were three sisters who lived in a big stone house, in a medium sized town. The house rang with laughter. Arguments. Battles and alliances. Feet running down the wooden floored hallway, racing the dog to the post. Santa traps and the like. Doors slamming. Sulks and strops. Music, music, music. So many happy times. Sad ones too. It was home. Where we were physically all together. Dad rebuilt that house nearly. Continue Reading →

A Roar and a Dance

It is REALLY cold in our little corner of the world this evening. So I thought it might be a good idea to go check on the rabbit. It’s about half 9, and there’s been a bit of a battle to get the littlest little one to bed. Going out into the freezing night is not what I want to do – especially with a cold (poor me…!) But Rabbit needs checking! Warm coat on and zipped up. Grab a carrot and the end from the broccoli, box of rabbit food, water, hay and outside I go. The cold air Continue Reading →

Yoga and Chocolate.

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Sounds an awesome idea doesn’t it? A little while ago now, I went on a Yoga workshop run by Susananda Yoga. It’s the second workshop that I’ve been on and I was really looking forward to 3 hours of yoga on a Saturday morning. Bliss… Greeted with a cheery “Good Morning” from Sue, and a “Take a chocolate please! But don’t eat it yet!” I found an unusual unwillingness to actually take a chocolate. Maybe because this is yoga, and such bliss should not be tainted with such lowly (!) things as chocolate. (Or more a case of “Don’t cross Continue Reading →

Only a story.

A few nights ago (29th) you turned up in a dream I had. You came up behind me and stood close. I felt your energy. I started to startle as I realised who it was, partly in recognition. Partly in fear. But then I realised I had no need to fear any longer. So I stopped the startle. I felt as though you spoke. “Don’t go. Be?” An ask. So I stood in answer.  In recognition of what used to be there.  Of what things could have been like – had we been different people, that never were. Remembering the Continue Reading →

For you, my friend.

You’ve a bit of a mountain ahead of you. I don’t know what you’re feeling – I can’t even guess.  I only know what I’m feeling for you going through it. Tonight I wanted to phone, but we don’t normally phone.  All is either in text, messenger or in person.  So I texted. This I promise you.  I will be there, always.  So will you.  And there we will be.

The Day that Sound broke.

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It’s been a trying few weeks.  My own energy levels seems to have dropped through the floor, whilst the energy levels of the children have increased exponentially.  I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed, found it difficult to concentrate, plan, think… even write.  Words feel stuck and as if I’m having word blindness.  So I’ll do my best to let them flow. I’ve put it down to a few things.  Overdoing it and not resting up enough.  Feeling pulled in many different directions.  Family and close friends going through trials and tribulations of fairly serious natures.  It’s only been a Continue Reading →

108 Update

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Well, the first two days went well.  I was up about an hour before sunrise and off out to the garden I trundled.  Feeling slightly self conscious but hey ho – going to do it anyway. Until Yesterday. I was up when my alarm went off at 3:30am.  So was my littlest little one – who was finding it difficult to settle and wanted feeding.  So I stayed and fed him.  Feeling guilty because I wasn’t able to do what I’d set my intent to do. But there wasn’t much I could do about that.  A quote from Buddha says:- Continue Reading →

108

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I’ve recently become aware of this thing called Yoga.  It’ll never catch on, but I like it so I’m willing to give it a good go. Of course I’m just joking you (to quote my eldest little one).  But I have only recently found it for myself.  It’s amazing.  It’s everything I hoped it would be and I’m so glad that the Universe and the Divine pointed me in the right direction precisely at the time it did. To say I’m hooked would be an understatement.  However, as committed as I have been to getting to yoga classes, or 1:1 Continue Reading →